August 27, 2008

Riding the (Emotional) Roller Coaster

It takes a strong person to adopt. I'm not bragging--I have a wonderful daughter through adoption--I'm just telling it like it is. I'll admit, I've always considered myself a strong person, but really, I had no idea what that meant. There's something about the emotional journey you go through when preparing for and anticipating the homecoming of your child. Waiting is hard for most people; it's especially hard waiting to grow your family and having no idea when that might happen.

We recently had an adoption fall through. That's not uncommon--just one of the realities of adoption. But this particular child, our daughter's birth sibling, was near and dear to our hearts, and it was especially devastating for this adoption to fall through. My strength has really come into question during this whole ordeal. I got angry and full of self-pity. I wanted to blame someone. I was hurt. I'm still depressed. But I know deep down that the baby that was meant to come home to us will, in time. That's what I mean about being strong. When adopting, you just have to believe that what was meant to be will be. Otherwise, you probably could never get off this emotional roller coaster ride.

I can't image someone being able to fully understand what it's like to adopt having not gone through it themselves. People don't realize how things they say about birth moms come out. They don't realize what it's like to possibly not name your child. They don't realize the emotional toll or financial burden placed on a family.

I'm not sharing all this with the world in the hopes of receiving pity or to make anyone feel bad. Our daughter is the greatest thing that could have ever happen to us, and bringing her home was made possible through adoption. But I do hope to help educate people and highlight some adoption related issues throughout this blog. That's one of the reasons I wanted to start it.

Stay tuned for more on the whole adoption thing in the near future.


Kelly T said...

Your words are so eloquent. I do admire your strength. I can't even imagine your feelings, but know that we love you all. Like you, we agree that your daughter is THE most amazing little person. Some baby out there is about to become the luckiest little-one in the world!

Jenny said...

Wonderfully worded. A co-worked, when asked by another "So, does she ever get to see her real mom?" responded so cooly, "Yes, she sees me every day!" Lots of love and blessings in your journey.