Riding the (Emotional) Roller Coaster

It takes a strong person to adopt. I'm not bragging--I have a wonderful daughter through adoption--I'm just telling it like it is. I'll admit, I've always considered myself a strong person, but really, I had no idea what that meant. There's something about the emotional journey you go through when preparing for and anticipating the homecoming of your child. Waiting is hard for most people; it's especially hard waiting to grow your family and having no idea when that might happen.

We recently had an adoption fall through. That's not uncommon--just one of the realities of adoption. But this particular child, our daughter's birth sibling, was near and dear to our hearts, and it was especially devastating for this adoption to fall through. My strength has really come into question during this whole ordeal. I got angry and full of self-pity. I wanted to blame someone. I was hurt. I'm still depressed. But I know deep down that the baby that was meant to come home to us will, in time. That's what I mean about being strong. When adopting, you just have to believe that what was meant to be will be. Otherwise, you probably could never get off this emotional roller coaster ride.

I can't image someone being able to fully understand what it's like to adopt having not gone through it themselves. People don't realize how things they say about birth moms come out. They don't realize what it's like to possibly not name your child. They don't realize the emotional toll or financial burden placed on a family.

I'm not sharing all this with the world in the hopes of receiving pity or to make anyone feel bad. Our daughter is the greatest thing that could have ever happen to us, and bringing her home was made possible through adoption. But I do hope to help educate people and highlight some adoption related issues throughout this blog. That's one of the reasons I wanted to start it.

Stay tuned for more on the whole adoption thing in the near future.

Living the Dream (how cliche!)

So, my background is in communications/PR/marketing, and anyone in that industry knows that when the economy turns, companies (stupidly) cut marketing dollars, and, well, lay-offs occur. Over the course of the 11+ years I've been in this industry, I've gone through three. Most recently, this past May.

The good news is that I'd been wanting to do something else anyway, and this last lay-off was the catalyst I needed to do what I really want to be doing: writing full time.

Writing has always been a part of my 9-5, and I've written (and been lucky enough to get published) a fair amount freelance articles, but now I get to stay home and work on my novel, while doing some freelance writing.

Yes, I feel a tinsy bit of guilt, and yes I am still looking daily for a new job, but I am loving my daily routine right now: get up, take the dog for a power walk (you know, get the heart rate up), shower, eat breakfast and enjoy a cup of tea, and then sit down at my computer to write. I am so happy, it's ridiculous. The only reason I don't feel more guilty, as my husband takes our daughter to daycare each morning, before heading off to a job he's not in love with, is that I know all of this will soon change, and my dream with be over, temporarily.

We are expecting baby number two--through adoption--any day now and when that baby comes, sleep will become my dream "job." For now though, I will continue writing my novel, fast and furious, and see where it takes me.