Since adopting, I have a heightened awareness to the mention of adoption or adoption related issues in books, TV, and movies. What I may not have paid too much attention to in the past, now often saddens, irritates, or frustrates me.
I’m currently reading a great fiction book that I am thoroughly enjoying. That is, until I got the part where the young couple is trying desperately to conceive a baby and the husband suggests adoption (which I was thinking, as they went through five miscarriages). The woman says simply: “no, that seems fake; somehow cheating.” Huh?
Wow. Do some people actually think that? That is so sad. I’m not really even sure what to say to that.
To me, the most important thing has always been loving, caring for, and raising a child. Makes no difference to me where that child came from (my belly or someone else’s); my child is my child. Physically giving birth to a child doesn’t make you any more or less of a parent than adopting a child. And it most certainly is not cheating or by any means fake.
How our families are made—be that by choice, circumstance, or any other way—is what it is. We are family and we are real.
It’s okay to say, “hey, that’s not okay” when we see or hear adoption being talked about in ways that are disrespectful or the like. One of the things that comes with adoption is adoption advocacy (thankfully, I love to advocate, loudly, for the things I am most passionate about!); it’s our job to help educate the general public, for the sake of our children—they need to see us advocating for them in a positive manner.
We can start by educating ourselves, then our families, followed by our friends. Then maybe we’ll start to see some positive adoption references in the media and in books, on TV and in movies.
Go forward and advocate!